♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

youre the sweetest thing on earth. and i love ♥♥ you very very much.

lethargic.

this week has been more than lethargic. falling sick aint making things any way better. being bed ridden for an entire day, gave me an awesome backache. i need to stop coughing like a mad bitch. weird virus going around school, they should really close down the school to sanities the entire school for good.

boyfriend.

am missing him really damn badly. come on, baby, a phone call a day aint exactly enough. i miss you like damn damn badly. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE TUESDAY HAPPEN.

ILY((:

tsktsk. youre on night duty again.

BFF.

dinner over at thai express with bff. and it aint making my throat any better. damn . act smart lah. this is what you get louisa. now you can cough your ass off. but its cool meetng her again. er can like be in the same school but never bumping into each other. tsktsktsk.

sneeze sneeze cough cough.

down with real bad flu. fever shot up to 39.9 degrees in the morning. i was like some kind of a walking oven. damn damn damn..

despite the damn fever, i was on the phone with baby will like 1plus in the morning. im missing him damn badly can. tuesday pleaseeeeeeeee.

where art thou.

losing grip at this time aint the best of thing that should be happening.

the thrill of seeing the blood rush out.

seeing the blood clots form on my knuckles.

cleaning the blood off the blood when im finally sober.

at the very least i know all that had happen is true. but then again.

i really hope this was only a dream.

and that i would wake up to nothing.

the hope that you gave me.

and now totally thrashing me. who are you to even do this me.

trusting you.

was the greatest mistake. yes im 19 and constantly making stupid mistakes.

fucking ass teenager letting my emotions over take me and doing stupid things ending up with only me hurting myself even more. fuck this shit. and i thought you were different. i fucking got a judgement problem.

faith.

you took away that last bit of faith that ive got.

not only did you take away that little faith that ive left.

you left your dirty foot prints in me. the pain that never fail to flood me every now and then.

labels.

all the label that was there. i took it all,

silly enough to think that. all that i ever needed was love.

wrong. i was so wrong.

now that its all gone. i dont give a fuck anymore.

thanks.

for letting the emo kid in me come back.

this heart beats for you.

breathe for love tomorrow

cause theres no hope for today

breathe for love tomorrow

cause maybe theres another way

it makes me feel real. the constant ache of my heart.

at the very least i know everything is real. and that i own you.

for now at least.

with love.

im carrying the burden of being the third party.

but knowing me.

its clear that once i want something, i would go the way out to get it.

no matter what.

no matter what is there or who is there to oppose me.

i climb, i slip, i fall

into your empty hands

but i lay here all alone

sweating all your blood.

thank you for being in on my sins.

the pain is excruciating. the blame i put on myself. im dying.

i love you i really do. it has never been so real. although i know this aint gna be long. the one that owns you will soon be back. but i cant help but drown myself in your hugs and kisses. drowning myself in your love. everyday, do you have any idea how much i miss you, how much it sucks to check my phone and find out its not you? im not willing to give up anytime soon. ILY (:

ILY.

i dont know if doing the correct thing at all.

the very ghost of you.

the past is haunting. again. bfie is off on friday. finally. i cant wait to meet you love. perhaps this will be the one im looking for. my love. please dont let all this come to an end.

uniform fitting i in abit. hais. i love the course im in but i totally hate the fact that there are so many rules to abide to. fml. baby almost laughed to death when i told him im gna do culinary. i cant even cook a proper maggie mee.

dear mum.

the guilt is overwhelming. its literally killing me. stop being so nice to me. the nicer you are to me the more i dont know how to open my mouth and apologise to you.

i srry for all the shit ive done today. the pain that is killing me. please someone. stop this.

i believe in magic because my real life is a tragic.

i need more than faith this time round. i dont know how long more can i hold on.

brick by boring brick.

i just love how this video ends. who still believes in fairy tales now.

Yeah you built up a world of magic

If it's not real

You can't hold it in your hand

You can't feel it with your heart

And I won't believe it

But if it's true

You can see it with your eyes

Or even in the dark

And that's where I want to be, yeah

sometimes i wish i had someone there for me spiritually. im emotionally damaged. please i just need someone there. spiritually. for me to talk to.

we're just kids in love.

OKAY FINE IM BACK TO BLOGSPOT. ONSUGAR IS GETTING PRETTY OVER-RATED. MAYBE I WILL COME BACK HERE FOR AWHILE.

the blogging vibe is long gone. idk what to blog about anymore. school started and life is turning into a constant routine. ya ya i have no life or whatever, im happy with this though.

ive been living in my own bubble long enough. but this bubble that im living in allows of people to enter and leave. within a month, theres too much changes. im taking a last shot with you. its the last please make it a good one. i have to say this one is good. hearing your voice early in the morning is the best way to start a day. the way you wake me up and the way you whine when i give you the sleepy voice. its with you that i feel difference. even the way you laugh at my height 185 compare to 158 for once it feels good being short. even if we know, this will end up badly, lets just make the process a good one. ILY((: